"I love you"

Life gets tough. You think you've got it all figured out, and then it takes you down again. You try to do all the right things, you consider carefully how you should respond, or behave towards this certain situation. You pray earnestly for God to help you in this particular area, you ask Him to guide you and lead you in the way you should go. Has it all been fake? Have I been doing something wrong? What am I missing? Sure, life isn't perfect. You will fall, our sin nature gets in the way of things, we're not always gonna do everything perfect. I know that. It just seems like I'm doing the same wrong things, I keep tripping on that same rock. Once its done, and I've acknowledged my sin, and apologized.. I say to myself, I will learn from this, next time something like this comes up, I'll know how to act because I've learned. But the very next time, I fail. It's at times like this where I'm tempted to just give up, just forget about everything, isolate myself from the world, keep to myself. I don't want to express how I feel because I'm ashamed, and broken.I don't want to talk. I try to talk to God about my feeling and hurt, but He knows already my heart, He knows what I did, and how I feel. I just don't know how to talk about it to Him, sometimes. But at the very same time, I yearn for someone to talk to, I long for an encouraging word, or gesture. I want to feel loved, feel like I'm cared for, despite my sin. And then something special happened. While all these thoughts were running through my head, my Dad came in to talk to me, he told me to be positive, and to keep trying.. he encouraged me to get right back up on the horse, to start a new. Then he told me he loved me. And that simple word meant more to me than anything in the world. I am loved. And that was all I needed to hear. I don't know where I'd be if it weren't for my Daddy. He's all I need. If you have a father who is caring, and treats you like you're really something special. Thank Jesus for Him. :)

"Count your blessings, name them one by one."

Well, Folks.. It happened. I turned 18.
Funny how fast it all goes. Seems like yesterday I was a little 13 year old girl, watching all the other 17 & 18 year old girls, wishing I was their age. :P


This year for me has been a really good one. I feel that this past year I've really grown in a lot of ways. God has been teaching me so many things about Himself and this world. I've become more aware of how I do things, and respond to different situations.

Last night, I was laying on my bed feeling like crap. I had been sick for the past week. I lied there thinking about everything that hurt.. my throat, my eyes, my nose... (it was the worst sickness! :P ) and I realized that .. I was just thinking about all the bad things.. I was just dwelling on what was wrong. So, I decided to count my blessings. As I started counting my blessings I realized just how much God had blessed me, God has provided so much for me, and my family. He's been so gracious and Loving. So, I decided to write out all the blessing that God has given me. Here are a few..

#1 Having God in my life.
God is my dearest friend, I love Him so much, only cause he first loved me on the cross. While others may reject me, lie to me, and betray me, My God will Always love me, Be faithful and true, and always be by my side.

#2 A family who loves the Lord and Cares for me
My Parents have taught since I was born to walk in the way of the Lord, to follow his plan for me and my life, to be obedient and truthful. They care for me in every possible way, Their love for me is un-conditional.

#3 Being apart of an Awesome church family.
My church is my favorite. I attended that church since I was born. that's where I met most, if not all my friends. My church really is a caring and thoughtful church, I couldn't ask for a better one.

These are just a few of the blessings that God gives. I am so thankful for His grace and love.
And I pray that this next year for me would be full of good things. :D