I Surrender All

I went on a morning walk today, just to talk with my father and worship Him, as I listened to my ipod a song came on its called "I surrender All" by the Newsboys. It really spoke to my heart. I thought I would share it with you today.

I surrender all
To the promises you made
And I will give it all
to the maker of the day.

No one knows your heart
And no one knows your fears.
When no one solves the mysteries
or even wipes away the tears

I surrender all
to the promises you made
And I will give it all
to the maker of the day.

Can you hear the sound of laughter
from the other side of life?
There are days when I feel like a stranger sometimes
Tell me, are there any fools like me?

I surrender all
to the promises you made
And I will give it all
to the maker of the day

This reliance on another world
has a great effect on this world
This conscience of another world
has a great effect on grace recollection

He doesn't love us cause of who we are
He only loves us cause of who He is

I surrender all
to the promises you made
And I will give it all
to the maker of the day

I feel as though I have fallen in a deep hole. There is no light, no help, and no happiness. My struggles become more frequent. I really don't know who I am, what I'm  meant to do, or how I should show myself to the world. I'm lost, and I don't know how to be found.

I don't feel like being that person I have been. I find that she has only hindered me from being all that I could be, hindered me from being who I wish I could be. I've come to the point in which I truly despise my personality. I want so desperately to change, to undoubtedly, permanately change.

I am hurting. I long to be happy again, but I just don't see it. The words that you have been spoken to me will never go away. They stay in my heart like a disease. I looked up to you in the most admirable way, I loved you more than life itself. People can only disappoint you in this life. Trust is a word I will soon forget, who can you trust?

Dear God, I am hurt and confused. I don't know who I should be, and I struggle more than I succeed. It's easy to give up and do it my own way, but Lord, I pray that I would be strong and firm in my faith. I know you'll never leave me alone, I know you will guide my footsteps. I have confidence that you will do what's best for me. Help me to always know that.